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Seven Deadly Sins Part 4
This series was written by Writing Tip Wednesday reader Rick Hull. Rick has been a health communications specialist with the National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion’s (NCCDPHP’s) Office of the Director for 36 years, many of them as a writer-editor. He is NCCDPHP’s clearance coordinator and branding ambassador, CDC’s logo-licensing and co-branding coordinator, and a reviewer in CDC’s system logos clearance.
His favorite quote is “Great ideas are hogwash. Style and structure are the essence of great writing.” —Vladimir Nabokov, Lectures on Literature
Another regrettable feature of scientific writing, a noun string is exactly what the name implies. It’s three or more nouns in a row—a compound noun gone mad. In a noun string, the first nouns end up turning into adjectives, making things difficult to read. But if you train yourself to recognize them, they’re not hard to fix. Avoid Noun Strings (from Plainlanguage.gov) provides some helpful tips.
Example:
These outcomes are clearly influenced by certain behaviors (i.e., taking pregnancy prevention actions).
Revision:
These outcomes are clearly influenced by certain behaviors (i.e., taking actions to prevent pregnancy).
Even better (active voice!) revision:
Certain behaviors (i.e., avoiding pregnancy) clearly influence these outcomes.
Example:
The report analyzes a diabetes in pregnancy adverse outcome prevention program.
Revision:
The report analyzes a program for preventing adverse outcomes from diabetes during pregnancy.