Highlights
- Toddlers and preschoolers will sometimes resist going into time-out.
- Parents and caregivers can use time-out to help their children understand which behaviors are acceptable.
- Watch the videos and read the time-out scenarios to learn helpful time-out techniques.
Watch: learn about using time-out
See how time-out works and what steps you need to follow in order for it to be effective for your child.
Watch: using time-out: she knows
Time-out never seems to be effective for one mother, until she learns that her daughter is sneaking out during time-out. Journey with her as she sets out to effectively use time-out.
Scenario 1: Leaving time-out to get a toy
Scenario
What would you do?
Choice A: You raise your voice and yell at them to stop getting up and to put down the toy.
Staying calm can be hard. When you yell, you teach your child yelling is how to solve a problem. Try a different choice.
Choice B: After taking them back to their chair a couple of times and taking away the toy, you just give up. You can't make your child take a time-out if they won't stay in the chair.
If you give up, you may teach your child they can get out of time-out if they make it difficult for you. Try a different choice.
Choice C: You take away the toy. Calmly tell them they will lose a privilege like watching tv or going to the playground if they get up again.
This is a good choice! Make sure you follow through with taking away the privilege if they don't stay in time-out.
Scenario 2: Managing a bad attitude
Scenario
What would you do?
Choice A: You tell your child that they have to be quiet if they want to get out of time-out.
If you talk to your child, they learn whining and yelling will get your attention during time-out. As long as they are safe, ignore them. Try a different choice.
Choice B: You tell them that they will get a treat if they stop whining.
If you say you will give them a treat, you teach your child whining and yelling during time-out gets your attention and rewards. When your child is in time-out, you should not talk to them. Try a different choice.
Choice C: You ignore the whining and yelling.
Yes! Your child is trying to get your attention. Let them blow off some steam. When they are quiet for at least 5 seconds, ask if they are ready to come out.
Scenario 3: Playing in time-out
Scenario
What would you do?
Choice A: You take them out of time-out. There no point keeping your child there if they are just having fun!
If you take your child out of time-out, they learn playing gets your attention and makes time-out end early. Try a different choice.
Choice B: You calmly take the toy away and start the time over. You keep a closer eye on your child to make sure they don't try to get another toy.
Good idea. Make sure you don’t look at or talk to them. You could also try standing nearby to make sure they stay where you put them.
Choice C: You decide you need to distract your child to keep them from getting other toys, so you start singing along with them.
Although you are keeping your child from getting out of the chair, they are getting your attention. Try a different choice.
Scenario 4: Refuses to go to time-out
Scenario
What would you do?
Choice A: You drag them by their arms to the time-out spot.
Dragging or pulling your child to time-out teaches that aggression is the right response to being hit. This option could also hurt you or your child. Try a different choice.
Choice B: You don't give the time-out because it's impossible to deal with your child when they get like this!
If you don’t follow through with a time-out, your child learns hitting you is okay. You may need to first cool down and think about how to respond before following through with a time-out. Try a different choice.
Choice C: You gently, but physically, take them to the time-out chair.
Good choice! If your child resists more, you can also carry them to time-out with their face turned away from you, holding them under the arms and around the chest. The “barrel carry” is an efficient and safe way to get your child to the time-out spot.