What to know
- Strengthen your bond with your child by praising their good behavior. When praising, be specific and use simple words.
- Improve communication with your child by imitating and describing their good behaviors. When you copy and describe their behavior, it shows that you're paying attention and enjoying what they're doing.
Praise
Praise happens when you give positive attention to your child for good behavior.
Why is praise a good tool to use?
Praise lets your child know what behaviors you like. When you praise behaviors you like, your child will do those behaviors more often. Praise can also help your child feel good about themself.
What type of praise works best?
Specific praise works best because your child knows exactly what you like. This type of praise is called labeled praise. Unlabeled praise is a general statement that shows approval or affection. Unlabeled praise can help children feel good but does not help improve behavior. It doesn't let your child know exactly what is liked.
Examples
- What a great job of putting your toys away!
- You did a super job making your bed!
- Way to go sharing with your brother!
- Great Job!
- Super!
- Way to go!
Imitation
You imitate your child's behavior when you copy or mimic what they are doing. For example, you play with the same or a similar toy and attempt to use the toy like your child is using it.
Why is imitation a good tool to use?
Any behavior you imitate is likely to be repeated by your child. When you imitate your child's play, you show them you are paying attention and like what they are doing. Imitation can help a child feel good about themselves and gives you a lot of chances to give positive attention.
Description
Description occurs when you talk about what your child is doing in as much detail as possible. You describe what your child is doing like a sports reporter might describe what is going on to someone who can't see the action.
Why is description a good tool to use?
Descriptions show your child you are interested in what they are doing and you are giving them your full attention. In this way, descriptions can help build self-esteem because it lets your child know you think what they are doing is interesting. Descriptions are also helpful in holding your child's attention. This helps increase the length of time your child is able to stick to the task, which prepares your child for the focus he needs when he begins school.
Descriptions can encourage language development because your descriptions give your child words to describe something, which helps build vocabulary and they can help you teach your child. For example, you can teach your child how to count, or name colors by using descriptions.
Example
"You're looking at all the pieces and trying to decide which one you want. Oh, you decided to put a green cowboy hat on the potato. Nice job getting the hat on. Now he has a mustache. You picked the green glasses that match the green hat. Those glasses are tough to put on, and I like how hard you are trying. I am glad you stuck with it and you got those glasses on his face."
Resources
Watch videos and practice your skills for communicating with your child by visiting Practice Parenting Skills: Communication.